Redefining beauty

Growing up,  I never felt like I fit the description of what it meant to be beautiful. Throughout my time in high school, I developed a mountain of insecurities about the way I looked, and because of this, I always found it difficult to find beauty within myself.

I grew up in a predominantly white area which meant I went to a  predominantly white girls’ high school.  

Fearing the Black Body Book by Sabrina Strings

So, you could imagine why I always thought my hair was not straight enough, my skin was not fair enough and my body was not skinny enough. As I entered my twenties, I began to wonder why I had this feeling. Surely these feelings must derive from somewhere, it can’t all be made up in my head.

Gradually, I became more intrigued with the concept of beauty, so much so that I started to watch endless documentaries and even TikTok’s about what beauty is. During my research I stumbled upon a book called ‘ fearing the black body’. I highly recommend this book because it focuses on the origins of Eurocentric beauty and speaks of the racial origins of fatphobia.

This book gave me an insight on Eurocentric beauty standards

As black women, we are particularly vulnerable to the effects of European standards of beauty because these standards emphasise skin colours and specific hair and body types that exclude majority of black women especially those of darker skin.

The European beauty standard deemed attributes that are most closely related to whiteness e.g., straight hair, thin body, lips, and nose.  A black women’s perception of herself is damaged by these particular standards.

Hair not straight enough

Hair discrimination has been a thing since slavery. In African culture, hair was essential for proving a person’s social, occupation and marital status. This took a turn for the worse when slavery started, and Africans were pulled from their homes and culture. Enslaved Women’s hair was shaved off, this was a symbolic way to perish their identity. Despite being under inhumane circumstances, enslaved women still kept their African traditions of braiding one another’s hair and wearing a scarf to protect their hair from damage.

Afro hair was so discriminated against that black women were required to cover their hair with a scarf or handkerchief. It was discovered that white men were becoming intrigued with Afro hair. This was not good news for the masses as finding a black woman or even her hair intriguing was a no-go- so the Tignon law was formed to disgrace black women and prevent them from celebrating their hair.

Black hair is still perceived as being a stigma in today’s society. Texturism is discrimination against people with kinkier and coarse hair within the same race. softer hair is idealised for being in proximity to European beauty standards. Black women have faced hair discrimination, particularly in the workplace and the media.

In terms of the media, in mid-September 2022, the official trailer for the little mermaid dropped. It was met with excitement and dismay. Parents shared adorable videos of their children reacting to the little mermaid who resembled them. I won’t lie; this made me shed a tear. However, it was not a surprise that racist individuals were annoyed and frustrated that a black woman was playing a beloved mermaid. The first issue pointed out was the little mermaid’s hair. For those of you who don’t know, the singer/actress Halle Bailey is known for wearing dreadlocks.

@Halle Bailey as the Little Mermaid Movie

Rob Marshall, the director of the new little mermaid movie, wanted Bailey to incorporate aspects of herself into the role. Some people stated that her hair was not right or it didn’t fit the movie. That’s another question to ask: ‘ Why is her hair not right for the role?’

I think all black women can relate to being told that their hair isn’t the right fit whether it be in the media or at the workplace. A new report from Pantene UK discovered that 93% of black women had faced microaggressions related to their hair. It’s people petting their hair as if they are an animal. I had a similar experience when I wore my afro to high school. I was met with glares and crowds of girls eager to touch my hair. I remember hearing one girl compare my hair to ‘cotton wool’. The way they were crowded, you’d think an adorable fluffy puppy was in the classroom.

The ’right fit or ‘perfect fit’ is something I’ve heard too often. It leaves a seed of doubt in my head. Reminding me that my natural hair is not suitable for outings or even the workplace. Unfortunately, black women with natural hairstyles are perceived to be ‘less professional and less competent.’

 Perceptions of professionalism are crucial when it comes to hiring individuals. Recruiters aim to look for individuals who ‘fit the part.’ The need to ‘fit the part’ purposefully puts down black women as the accepted standard for professional hairstyles and is inherently rife with racial bias. The standard for professional hairstyles often means straightened hair, which is a look that is hard to maintain amongst black women.

According to Halo collective,1 in 5 black women in the UK feels societal pressure to straighten their hair in order to fit the ‘standard’ just so they can avoid these particular microaggressions. We see this today with the demand to wear straighter hair wigs.

There was this big debate on TikTok about the new ‘UK black girl standard’. Many of the young black girls spoke about how black women were only deemed valuable if they had a 30-inch jet-black wig.

Modern Black Barbie

To clarify, there is nothing wrong with wearing wigs which don’t resemble your hair, I have worn wigs from time to time but I can’t help to also question why we are deemed more attractive or acceptable by society when we wear a 30-inch lace front jet-black wig. I went on to do further research and discovered that black women are hyper masculinised within western beauty standards. Black women and other Women of colour are caught in this awful cycle of not being white enough to be included in beauty standards.

This leads us to overcompensate for that perceived masculinity by morphing into a hyper feminine barbie whose hair is so smooth and straight, no kinky curls insight.

But it’s deeper than barbie, as a Woman in the world, we place so much importance on our physical appearance. When you are not a ‘conventionally attractive’ woman by societal standards, you’re more likely to be disrespected and even your safety is compromised. I was speaking to my older sister about if she felt pressured to have straighter hair and she proclaimed that in high school most girls her age had relaxed their hair or were wearing straight hair weaves. It was the complete opposite for my sister because at the time she was only allowed to cornrow or braid her natural hair without any form of extensions. Relaxer or weaves were not in her picture. She said she felt pressured and sometimes out of place. I feel this way sometimes. Whenever I have my natural hair out, I do sometimes feel conscious of my surroundings. I sometimes dread walking past people because my first thought is ‘ What are they going to say about my hair?’.

The problem isn’t just about us feeling pressured to wear straight hair wigs. The problem is that our natural hair is not respected. Afro hair has been the butt of the joke for centuries. It’s to the point that we don’t even feel comfortable going out in it because we know we are going to be met with stares and unnecessarily rude jokes. The fact that we live in a world that deems afro hair unacceptable is heart-breaking.

For many of us black women the goal is to be able to celebrate the versatility of our hair. We can curl it, straighten it, braid it, have the biggest or smallest Afro and still be beautiful.

 Body not skinny enough

I always wanted long thin legs, flat stomach, and no ounce of curves, that Bella Hadid esque body that would strut freely on the runway. I’ll never forget being in the classroom and seeing every girl compare how thin their legs were. I felt inadequate because my thighs were nowhere near skinny. Doing more research into the concept of thinness, I found that when British colonisers invaded Africa, they saw women that were curvier and plumper than the European women back home.

Bella Hadid at the Coperni spring -summer 2023 fashion show - L’estrop productions

So, they associated being skinny with whiteness and being curvier/thicker with blackness. The slender ideal was created to both degrade black women and discipline white women. Being curvy was seen as immoral and something that white people must stay away from and something that curvy black women should be ashamed of. Although times are evolving, being thicker is trendier. It still does not take away from the fact that the negative stereotypes have stayed in my mind for a very long time.

One of the main stereotypes is that black women who are curvier were deemed hypersexual.

The stereotype of hypersexuality is perpetuated towards Black women. Hypersexualisation is the over-sexualisation of a woman’s body. For centuries, Black women have faced the excessive sexualisation and dehumanisation of their bodies. An early example of this is Saraa Baartman. She was placed on display as a ‘freak show attraction’ in the 19th century. People paid to view her naked body, and became known as the “Hottentot Venus” throughout London and Paris. After her death, her body parts were preserved and inhumanely kept on public display until 1974. The historical context has led to the assumption that black women’s bodies are to be objectified.

I remember only being in my teens and people assuming that I was older because my body was supposed ‘too grown’ for my age.  I have been cautious of what clothes I wear. A dress or t-shirt may look too fitting as it would extenuate my curves. People would assume that I’m purposefully putting my body on show. Anything I wore could be seen as provocative or inappropriate.

So, this led me to wear baggy clothes all the time because I believed that my body was the cause of gaining unwanted attraction from men who catcalled at their pleasure. I truly believed that if my body was skinnier, all my insecurities about my body would melt away.

This is why I decided to redefine beauty for myself because I needed to get rid of this feeling that my body is ‘not the right fit.

How I am redefining beauty :

Redefining is about going against the norm, and letting go of what we have been told is beautiful. I’ve started my journey of unlearning the Eurocentric beauty standards by: 

1. Reading books and watching documentaries about the concept of Eurocentric beauty. Read Sabrina’s string- fearing the black body and watch the subject of desires. This documentary was truly inspiring because it deconstructs what we know about race and the power behind Eurocentric beauty. You can watch it on Hulu UK or stream it free online.

2. Following women on social media that look like me- I’ve been on social media since I was 12. Since then, I have followed girls who were beautiful, but they did not resemble me. It was not until I decided to change my algorithm to young women who had the same afro hair and curvy body as me. Instagram accounts such as @vibesofablackgirl and @darkskinwomen helped to embrace my beauty.

3. Writing down things I like about myself- Making a note of things I like about myself reminds me to be kinder to myself and reassures me that I’m fine the way that I am.

4. Attending art galleries or workshops that celebrate Afro hair- Attending these events made me love my hair even more. Reminded me that my hair is versatile and all the different hairstyles I do make me who I am.

5. Stop comparing myself to others- (This is the hardest one for me)  One thing I’ve done throughout my life is constantly comparing myself to people. No more comparing hair length or body weight. I’ve decided that comparison is the thief of joy. I’ve accepted that we are not supposed to look the same.

It would be a dream if women chose to collectively self-define beauty. It would honestly disrupt the western beauty standards as we know them. However, redefining beauty is a process. I know I won’t just wake up one morning with all my insecurities gone out the window. It will take time to unlearn Eurocentric beauty standards. Right now, I’m learning how to appreciate and enjoy myself more.

Written by Atinuke Ayorinde

Instagram: @icy_libra

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